This year though, New Year, or more accurately January, just happens to coincide with a need for me to have a bit of a re-think and make some changes in my life. The past 10 months have rightly been focused on looking forward to the arrival of our little Lola. Now she is here and we are almost recovered (she will be 7 weeks old in 2 days time - how did that happen?) I need to focus a bit on me and how to keep myself happy and sane.
I have been hit by the odd episode of depression over my adult life and was diagnosed with post natal depression approximately 6 months after having Evie. I need to do my best to make sure that doesn't happen again. Also, I am very conscious, having two girls, that I need to overcome some of my insecurities and the triggers of my depression, before the girls get old enough to notice and become affected by them.
So, the biggest thing that affects my mood, confidence and overall happiness is my weight. I've never been a skinny person and don't need to be, but my love of food, cooking and baking and general dislike of exercise mean that I battle to stay the right side of the 'healthy' weight line. Right now, after two pregnancies' worth of overeating, I am the heaviest I have ever been. According to 'ideal weight for your height' charts, I need to lose 5 stone. In reality, I'll be ok with 3.5-4 stone lost, since I need to be realistic about getting to a weight I can maintain, without permanently cutting out the things I love doing and eating!
I went out yesterday on my own, for the first time since Lola's arrival. It was for a hospital appointment, but I took advantage and went clothes shopping on the way home, just searching for a few cheap casual clothes, specifically trousers that are comfortable enough for crawling around on the floor with Evie, and don't fall down all the time (maternity clothes now too big, normal clothes far too small!). Well, what a depressing activity that was! I found nothing at all that I didn't hate myself in, and came home and cried. Drastic measures needed then. So, today is day one of my two week trial of the Slim Fast diet. I really don't generally agree with meal replacement diets - much better to eat healthily, exercise and re-train your eating habits. But, I don't seem to have the time or energy to follow that right now, and can't put it off any longer, so need to go for the easy 'no thinking required' option. We will see how it goes. I have bought a 12 day supply of powder and promised myself that I'll stick to it rigidly for that time and then see if it is worth continuing (or more likely, if I can face it any longer!).
I know from past experience that running, joining a club and entering regular races, will be a great way to keep fit and keep the pounds off for me. I do enjoy running (once I'm at a fairly fit level and can cope with running a reasonable distance without collapsing) and the social element of a club will keep me going. Fortunately, there is now a club in Wixams, that runs twice a week, setting out just around the corner, and I even know some of the members already, so I would really like to join them. I have to lose a couple of stone first though, else my dodgy back and hip just won't cope!
I have to set a good example to my girls, and there is no better motivation than doing things for them. I just need to keep that at the forefront of my mind. If I can instil healthy eating and exercise habits in them and show them how to make them an enjoyable part of your everyday life, I'll have done well I think.
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